I want suicide.

The suicidal thoughts you are having is depression and it is a psychological mood-disorder that affects the soul and body. It appears as mixed feelings of hopelessness and sadness. Such status blocks you from living your usual life and it could make you lose pleasure or desire even in the love of things.
Symptoms:
Social isolation
Feelings as hopelessness and loss of power
Stress and anxiety
Sadness with tears sometimes
Sleep and eating disorders
Loss of interest in normal activities
Thinking troubles and lack of focus
Thinking of death, suicidal thoughts or attempts.
Physical problems and fatigue
A desire to cry
Treatment and tips for your case:
First, you have to encounter those thoughts, you have to abandon all negative and irrational thoughts, and replace them with an adoption of positive thoughts
Exercise sports on daily-basis
Enhance your self-confidence. Focus on your points of strengths.
Practice deep breathing exercises, yoga, and meditation in nature

Be positive and talk to yourself well 

Persevere to reach your goals

Make yourself busy 
Participate in lectures, meetings and events to integrate into normal life
Form new social relationships with positive people and avoid those pessimistic people
Ensure a healthy diet and sleep well

Do not stay alone