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Saeed Nabhan

Saeed Nabhan

Relationship Therapist

الأسئلة المجابة 8712 | نسبة الرضا 98.8%

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Hi, I am 26 n half years old Indian. I have a...

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Hi, I am 26 n half years old Indian. I have a relationship with a young married guy. When I met him his marriage was not going well and he explained to me all his worries and I felt emotional. That day we went for a party and I had couple of drinks and I said I love u to him which I don't remember exactly. From next day he started treating as his lover and he seemed to be happy and I didn't had the guts to say that I don't remember anything. Initially we had so many fights as I wasn't able to digest this relationship. But he was not letting me go. He cries a lot and I couldnt turn my face away from him. Problem is nobody is there to support him.. Not his parents friends no one. He is having a lonely life. It's almost 3 years now. And am getting so much preesure from home to get married. I can't speak about this relation at my home as he is stilled married and he is different religion. I asked him let's break up. In our place if a girl croosed 27 it will be difficult for arranged marriage. I rejected so many proposals. Now a proposal is going on and our characters match. But this gut is crying and drinking all the time.. It's hard for me to hear him cry. If I chose to be with him my parents will cry and it will a shame for our family. Though we had so many fights before now he is so loving and I also learned to adjust as per his wish. Please tell me what should I do? Should I choose to listen to my parents or should I stay with this guy? He is alone.. Please help me.. I am afraid and worried.

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إجابة الخبير: Saeed Nabhan

Saeed Nabhan

Saeed Nabhan

Relationship Therapist

الأسئلة المجابة 8712 | نسبة الرضا 98.8%

It is known that emotion moves the human to what he loves, but this may be contrary to the mental side, so that what you are doing with this young man and spend a long time and attachment to him and his love and love and frank him so make him away more and more from his wife and at the same time you become related to him more and the same time you are living a situation of internal conflict, which is that you want your lover and at the same time will not be able to marry you and will not allow your family to betroth him permanently and is unable to open two houses for two wives, and the other side is that your age is going and at the same time afraid to leave you and stay without marriage and regret in the future. 
 
 Therefore, you have to judge the mental side of your relationship in the sense that the progress and marriage of this young man from you will be almost impossible under these conditions, which you live in, the best option is to stay away from him and change your phone and take care of yourself and start the direction of linking to a man who can achieve everything you want to fulfill his promise and his relationship with you and then if you have children and raising them will have a reflection on your personality and interest and will make you link to your husband, especially if he is a lover, and you will begin to attach to him and be directly linked to him and this option will be the closest option to the right. 
Finally the decision is up to you. 

الرد من العميل

Thank you so much for your reply. This means a lot to me as I can't open up this to anybody else.Just to make my mind strong on my decision kindly clarify this also to me please. He and his wife are already having a separated life meaning she lives in different house. Many times I have tried indirectly to solve their problem. But that lady is being so stubborn and she is kind of enjoying her lonely life. On the other side he is depressed of all this and he is asking me to wait for another 2 years to file and get his divorce.Since we broke up from 3 days now he is continously drinking and crying loud the whole day. Is their anyoption to console him and change his mind. I want to see him happy. I wish his wife will come back to him and will lead a happy family. But she seems not interested at all.

إجابة الخبير: Saeed Nabhan

Saeed Nabhan

Saeed Nabhan

Relationship Therapist

الأسئلة المجابة 8712 | نسبة الرضا 98.8%

I appreciate your feelings towards him, but waiting for two years is a very long time and may commit to progress to you or not and there will be nothing that forces him to comply with the deadline, so it must be determined if he wants to link to your presence must progress in order not more than a month or two months. 
 So stop talking with him is a step in the right direction, but you should not follow his situation until he realizes that you are serious and so as not to weaken him in front of him to follow him and the other side is that he is crying while he is a drinker. About your future and your future life, especially as life goes fast.

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Saeed Nabhan

Saeed Nabhan

Relationship Therapist

الأسئلة المجابة 8712 | نسبة الرضا 98.8%

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